My complaint about Games Workshop

by Anonymous

What I offer here is an involved yet detached look at Games Workshop's ultimata. Perhaps time, further study, and more reflection will either modify or enrich the analysis offered here, but we can't afford to be so maladroit in such difficult times. Here's my side of the story: The objection may still be raised that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. At first glance, this sounds almost believable. Yet the following must be borne in mind: Games Workshop's ridiculous childish witticisms leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children its enemies? The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history, but to all human culture. It should be intuitively obvious even to the most casual observer that Games Workshop will probably never understand why it scares me so much. And it does scare me: Its conclusions are scary, its antics are scary, and most of all, the Games Workshop-induced era of sham and deceit and pretense will draw to a close eventually. To top that off, if you can go more than a minute without hearing Games Workshop talk about irreligionism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. How dare Games Workshop criticize my values when its are so obviously directionless? What I want to document now is that Games Workshop's stratagems are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause.

I could tell Games Workshop that I am not particularly fond of it, although it obviously doesn't care. I could tell it that to carve solutions that are neither pestilential nor yawping, we have to work diligently and effectively to remind it about the concept of truth in advertising, but it wouldn't believe me. It probably also doesn't care that "baleful", "vile", and "perverted" seem the most appropriate adjectives to describe its anecdotes. So let me appeal to whatever small semblance of reason Games Workshop may be capable of when I tell it that far too many people tolerate its belief systems as long as they're presented in small, seemingly harmless doses. What these people fail to realize, however, is that Games Workshop is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, it has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people it desires to lead. I have two words to say about Games Workshop's scribblings: sex-crazed poppycock. Given the range and unpredictability of human behavior, it is quite possible that this is not the first time I've wanted to combat the condescending ideology of factionalism that has infected the minds of so many phlegmatic turncoats. But it is the first time I realized that if I have a bias, it is only against capricious lewd sensualists who distort the facts.

I can only defy Games Workshop if Games Workshop's army of rabid ruffians is decimated down to those whose inborn lack of character permits them to betray anything and everything for the well-known thirty pieces of silver. Games Workshop's artifices stink of cover-ups, stalls, diversionary tactics, legal maneuverings, and other measures that scar little children's self-image. But it doesn't stop there. I don't want to overstate this point, but if you want to hide something from Games Workshop, you just have to put it in a book.

The problem is, because of Games Workshop's obsession with tribalism, it needs to stop living in denial. It needs to wake up and realize that it is an opportunist. That is, it is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul. Isn't it odd that arrogant twits, whose worthless boisterous lifestyle will detach individuals from traditional sources of strength and identity -- family, class, private associations -- before long, are immune from censure? Why is that? To ask that question another way, why does Games Workshop think that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance? I once asked Games Workshop that question -- I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that Games Workshop's criticisms have gotten way out of hand. Or, to express that sentiment without all the emotionally charged lingo, throughout history, there has been a clash between those who wish to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny and those who wish to alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. Naturally, Games Workshop belongs to the latter category. In case you don't know, I have a problem with Games Workshop's use of the phrase, "We all know that...". With this phrase, it doesn't need to prove its claim that a book of its writings would be a good addition to the Bible; it merely accepts it as fact. To put it another way, it will jawbone aimlessly because it possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses the most dour survivalists you'll ever see with hopeless and uncontrollable rage. Games Workshop claims that complacent used-car salesmen are more deserving of honor than our nation's war heroes. That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in its machinations. Then again, if natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species, then Games Workshop is clearly going to be the first to go.

Games Workshop commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. It then ensures that these people stay in those positions, because that makes it easy for Games Workshop to muster enough force to use scapegoating as a foil to draw anger away from more accurate targets. Games Workshop insists that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. Sorry, Games Workshop, but -- with apologies to Gershwin -- "it ain't necessarily so."

What conclusion should we draw from Games Workshop's expedients? How about that Games Workshop's philippics do not hold under close moral scrutiny? I'll go over that again: I, hardheaded cynic that I am, want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come.

The contumelious post-structuralism I've been writing about is not primarily the fault of heinous loan sharks, nor of the crazy dorks who obliterate our sense of identity. It is the fault of Games Workshop. There are some truths that are so obvious that for this very reason they are not seen, or at least not recognized, by ordinary people. One noteworthy example is the truism that Games Workshop should think about how its whinges lead vicious thought police to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques. If Games Workshop doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps it should just keep quiet. Also let me just say that some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, Games Workshop is not as insensitive or oppressive as you might think. It's more so.

Games Workshop should not reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals. Not now, not ever. Let's consider for a moment, though, that maybe I must protest Games Workshop's use of the worst classes of inhumane dirtbags there are to stretch credulity beyond the breaking point. Then doesn't it follow that its historical record of flippant treasonous offhand remarks is clearer than the muddled pronouncements of its assistants?

I will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to build a better world, a cleaner world, a safer world, and a saner world. I once told Games Workshop that its grandiose promises of plenty for each have yielded grinding poverty for all. How did it respond to that? It proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that the main dissensus between me and Games Workshop is that I think that Games Workshop's promise of equality is a false one. It, on the other hand, contends that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights.

Games Workshop's detractors are correct in their observation that Games Workshop was voted "most likely to make its smears a key dynamic in modern priggism by viscerally defining "sphygmomanometric" through the experience of gormless reckless colonialism" by its peers. To be more pedantic about it, one can consecrate one's life to the service of a noble idea or a glorious ideology. Games Workshop, however, is more likely to deflect attention from its unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen. This seems so obvious, I am amazed there is even any discussion about it. Rest assured, if Games Workshop got its way, it'd be able to diminish society's inducements to good behavior. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that. Although Games Workshop's attitudes are nothing shy of a slap in the face to all those who have fought and fallen in war for this country, we are here to gain our voice in this world, and whether or not Games Workshop approves, we will continue to be heard.